My name is Harry and this is a blog that will record my weight-loss. I was inspired to start it after coming across blogs like The Fat Lazy Guy’s Blog, 344pounds.com and The Anti-Jared. These are some guys who have lost massive amounts of weight and completely changed their lives ‚Äì something that I need to do.
As a kid there was always some kudos associated with being “big”, it was a sign that you were growing up. I remember wearing adult shoes with pride (I was a man!). A cute, childish attitude that unfortunately went pretty wrong. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been at least as heavy as my age in stones. When I was twelve years old, I weighed 12 stones. I remember feeling depressed about this as I got older, but took solice in the fact that when I was in my twenties there’s no way it could continue. Wrong!
My childhood was fairly normal. I was never bullied and my weight was never really a problem for me. Playing rugby helped a lot, I wasn’t the “fat guy who didn’t do sports”: I was part of the team, one of the lads. The first time my weight really hit me was when I went to university. This was a new group of people and my social capital was reset: they¬†did see me as a fat person first. This was the beginning of downward spiral into depression and comfort eating that in many respects has wiped out my twenties.
My peak recorded weight, which may not have been my actual peak, is 435lb (31 stones+). That is an embarrassing and shameful admission. It’s a surreal number, how is it even possible to get that big? The answer is simple, I ate way more calories than I used up and lived a sedentary lifestyle (Ricky Gervais: it’s not an disease). It happens gradually and without you noticing it, you do literally wake up one day and have a “Holy shit I’m really fat!” moment. If you put on 1lb a week, over 5 years that’s +18 stone. Would you notice if you put on 1lb over a 1 week period? It really does just snowball from there, compounded by the psychological effects that you pick up along the way.
The blog is titled “Rock Bottom” because that’s where I am starting from. There’s a scene in the TV-series “The Wire” where a drugs councillor (Waylon) is talking to a junky (Bubbles). Waylon is looking for his cousin, who is also a junky, but explains that his cousin won’t be ready for rehab yet: he’s got a long way to go before he hits rock bottom. It’s only when you see that rock bottom approaching that you become ready to question your lifestyle / do something about it. For me this rings very true: I’ve been fat my entire life, I’ve always known it was a bad thing and something I didn’t want to be, yet I never did anything about it. Now that I see that rock bottom approaching, I’m in a mental place where I can deal with it. (And I feel remarkably strong-willed and confident about succeeding.)
On the flip side of “you get fat by putting on 1lb at a time” is that the reverse is true. If you lose just 1lb a week then over a year you’ll have lost nearly 4 stone. Bump that up to 2lb a week, the amount health professionals say is a safe loss, and you’ve got a 200lb loss over 2 years.¬†My initial goal is a 200lb loss, over whatever period of time it takes, using nothing more than sensible diet, exercise and willpower. I honestly don’t care how much I weigh, but I do care that being obese affects my life and the things that I want to do in it.